Do you remember that ad for a bank in which a guy was calling his financial adviser twenty times so that he would repeat the amount of credit on the guy’s account, just to get revenge for years of harassment about his overdraft?
I loved that ad.
Especially as, at that time, I was in the phase hide your head in the sand and filter calls from your bank.
Last week, I felt like doing a remake of that ad. With Philippe, the ski equipment rental guy.
And ask him every day to have me try on one of his pair of ski shoes. Come on man, these ones there, bring them on? Huh yeah, I can close them too. And you won’t believe it my foot is IRRIGATED. Bring on the red ones while we’re at it? Same, as comfortable as sleepers! And what about those ones which look narrow, he? Well, not that much, boy, you could fit two other in there, let me laugh, you don’t mind my Philou if I stay a bit more, do you? I’d like to try on one or two other pairs, just like that, for the enjoyment of it.
In short, you get me, my week has been ENLIGHTENED by the simple fact that I could fit into ski shoes without risking an amputation of some of my toes.
Now dare telling me that losing weight is about respecting society norms. Those who think this have NEVER known how humiliating it is to choose a size 7 pair when your actual size is 5 just to get an extra 3 millimeters on the last hook. Neither to have to tell your weight – slightly minimized – to the ski rental guy in front an astounded crowed (= my children who had never managed until then to obtain the damn number).
In short, I won’t bullshit you, having lost weight has simplified my everyday life. And not only a little bit. I know I’m not younger, not necessarily prettier, I didn’t turn into a sex on leg for all that. But not a day goes by without the thought that ‘this’ I couldn’t have done it so easily a few months ago.
‘This’?
– Put on that slightly out of fashion ‘flare’ pair of jeans, size 10 from Gap, which was sleeping in my closet since 2004.
– Run up the stairs at the Opera metro station without having the impression to have lost someone on the way. My left knee, as it happens.
– Tie the strap on these delicious Salomés bought an arm and a leg only for the pleasure of… tying the strap.
– Put on a belt my mother forgot at my place. Until now I could at best use it as a necklace.
– Have a bath without the fear of getting stuck (yes, it happened to me, thank you soap, my saviour)
– Sit on a fence to eat my sandwich without thinking in the back of my head that it could give way.
– Planning to sit on the Churros’ laps, just like that, without getting cramps trying to make myself lighter (one of my big regrets from teenage hood, all my friends were sitting on each other’s laps, it might have happened to me once or twice but usually people sat on MY LAPS.)
– Sidle in a row of seats in a cinema without hearing people breathe heavily or moan.
– Almost not hear these obsessive voices that shout « fatty » when I try to enter a crowded metro.
– Pass a group of guy with my head up high and be surprised not to feel my tummy getting tight. Not walk faster and be astounded they didn’t even notice me.
I know very well all these are insignificant. I also know that some are the fruits of an ill imagination.
I know as well that I give it too much credit. And it’s indeed the proof that I’m still half way through the river, torn between the fear of gaining weight again and being aware that this is what will ruin me. But here you go, here and now, I have the feeling of being miraculously in equilibrium…
Edit: It became a tradition, a ‘blogger like’ picture, because I’m worth it, am I not? Ok, I look like I’m pooping. Or that I need to. Come on, I’m leaving you with a few pictures from my holidays…
