Right, I have to tell you about the crazy afternoon I spent last week. The few hours during which I thought I was a Pop Star candidate getting a makeover, a Cinderella – a bit oldish Cinderella right – or even a candidate for one of those TV shows “I decided to give a boost to my hair salon while slimming down to become a star”. Long story short, last week, I had a meeting with… myself. Myself but wearing fancy makeup, with a hairdo and a manicure. Then I’ve been shot from every angle by a photographer. A professional photographer.
I know, it sounds like a fairy tale for desperate housewives.
Yet, there was a long way to go.
For you to understand better, I have to explain. And warn you straight away, I acted against my sacrosanct principles as I agreed to take part in a marketing event. Let’s not beat around the bush and call Chabal a sex on leg.
But I had my reasons, I sweaaaaaaaaar. Come on, wanna read about it?
A Monday, ten days ago or so…
12h00: I receive an email from a certain Barbara “Good day Caroline. I’m in charge of the new Pantene campaign and you came to our mind for a special event. Pantene is renewing its image and wants to feature women from every horizons, who dare to be women in every sense of the word. The idea is to work with people who assert themselves to show feminine beauty in all its diversity. Yourself and fourteen other bloggers have been selected and will thus have your makeup done, your hair styled and be photographed, everything in a real studio. A private viewing of the pictures, touched up by a graphic designer, will then take place in a Parisian gallery. Would you be in?”
12h02: Never. Not a chance I’ll be in an ad for shampoo. No but who do they think I am? I’m not for sale, Madam.
12h03: “Dear Barbara, I am very touched by your proposal but I am sorry, my ethics does not allow me to…”
12h04: Right, but, somehow it’s political that stuff.
12h05: I’m saying no to a hyper subversive campaign, shit.
12h06: When my public will learn I refused to lend my image to an advert defending women in their diversity, I fear deception will be too weak a word.
12h08: What’s the issue? I’m lacking guts here. Where’s the warrior, the Amazone ready for any war? No, here I’m hiding behind my middle-class morals not to stick my neck out. I disappoint myself. Come on girl, say no to comfort and put yourself in danger.
12h10: I call the man to inform him I’ve decided to throw myself with all my might into a fight for women respect.
12h12: The man can’t see the link between Rosa Luxembourg and Pantene.
12h15: “Dear Barbara, Thank you for thinking of me. I’m forcing myself to accept this proposal because limelight and I don’t really get along. But I’m not thinking of me currently, I’m thinking of those thousands despoiled women around the world whom I want to pay tribute to. You can count on me”
12h16: “Dear Barbara, hum, will we have a manicure done as well, or else?
13h00: “Ok Caroline, meeting-up is set for Tuesday 18h00, studio Zappa, Paris 19eme. Regarding the manicure, the answer is yes”
13h01: Tuesday. Tuesday is too far, I will never hold out, I’m too looking forward to throwing myself with all my might into my fight for women. It’s amazing how enhancive it is to forget yourself for a cause that’s bigger than you.
13h02: I hope they’ll have ‘Rouge Noir’ from Chanel.
13h03: Tuesday is tomorrow.
13h04: Throwing myself with all my might into my fight for women with those 5 extra kilos on the hips is out of question. I’m prepared to put women’s honor before my pride but actually, no.
13h05: I also have a pimple on the chin ‘cause I have my period.
13h12: And conjunctivitis symptoms as well. A complete package. When it comes to diversity, Pantene guys won’t be disappointed.
16h00: I explain to my boss I ABSOLUTELY need half a day off tomorrow because of an unexpected humanitarian event.
16h03: Big boss agrees but he says there’s no shame in suffering from a stye, if I’m going to the ophthalmologist I can say so.
16h15: Regarding my outfit, I decide I will play it super basic a bit like Angelina Jolie when she puts herself in danger in Darfour. Anyway, the outside doesn’t count, it’s the inside fight.
16h30: On the other hand, I think it’s important to show my breasts a bit and my little black dress will be perfect.
16h32: Moreover, it’s the only one that fits taking into account the small extra kilos issue.
19h30: Barbara tells me in an email that I need to call Sebastien to explain how I see my hairdo and introduce myself in order for him to discover my personality and enhance it through my hair.
19h32: Actually, my personality, currently, it’s mainly the kind who has at least 3cm long dark roots. Greasy on top of that, in relation with my period.
19h35: I mumble a voice message to Sebastien, I want my hair totally free and the idea is to be in communion with women’s cause. Basic and simple. Well now, if he insists, the pictures of Emmanuelle Seigner for Gap’s campaign are not super far from the essence of my personality which is truly willing to be enhanced.
19h40: I don’t want to go anymore. I don’t really see how Sebastien, who’s also a makeup artist, will manage to enhance my conjunctivitis.
20h00: I send an email to two other bloggers who will too throw themselves with all their might into the fight for diversity to tell them I’m not sure about the personality enhancement stuff.
20h02: “Take it easy sweaty, don’t you see we’ll have a free manicure? “ answers G.
To be continued…